I’m working on being bold – whether it’s in a one on one conversation or in a presentation. In the past, I’ve often watered down what I say to avoid upsetting anyone. And I’m not alone. Many of the people that I coach are concerned about being bold. As a result, they dilute their message so much that they have zero impact on their audience.
This lesson will answer those questions.
I’ve found blogging to be extremely useful in helping me be bold. Some posts I’ve written have taken me some time to publish because of my fear, but having done so I’m bolder. Here are some thoughts to help you develop an attitude of boldness in everyday life.
1. Stop being nice
What stops me being bold is that I want to be liked, I want to be nice. I don’t want to have to deal with anyone being upset or offended by what I’ve said. It’s worked for me in many ways, but it holds me back too.
2. Saying what you think enhances your career
Do you hold back saying what you think because you want to make sure that everything you say makes perfect sense and is supported by evidence? Me too. But research shows that people who speak up more are seen as leaders. Now that makes sense, but here’s the topsy-turvy kicker – what they said didn’t have to be particularly brilliant or clever or original. So don’t worry about being perfect, just speak up.
3. Not saying what you think annoys people
I’ve sometimes held back on saying what I think fearing that it will upset people. Then the situation deteriorates and I end of saying what I think, only to be told “Why you didn’t tell me that earlier?”
4. Your ideas can help other people
Do you think your ideas are not worth sharing, that they’re obvious. Then watch this gorgeous, short video
5. What’s the worst that can happen
Sometimes when I want to say something bold, I stay silent because I just imagine a nameless disaster. But if I think it through and ask myself “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” then I realise that the worst that will happen is that the person I’m speaking to might be upset for a day. Can I handle that? Yes, I can! And then often they don’t even get upset for five minutes. They just thank me for being straight! Often the consequences that we fear from being bold don’t materialise.
Preparation for interview
Before you go on a job interview, you need to thoroughly prepare.
Research company and job
You should do research on the company and the job for which you are applying. Then gather together a listing of all experience and education you have related to this position.
Practice interview
Just as a public speaker practices a speech before giving it to a large audience, you need to practice what you plan to say during an interview. The big difference between giving a speech and an interview is that you are usually responding to questions in the interview.
Have a friend act as the person holding the interview with you. Your friend can then ask typical questions that you will answer, as if in a real interview. Example questions can be:
- "Why do you want this job?"
- "How does your experience relate to the work we do?"
- "Tell me about your goals."
- "What value can you bring our company?"
There are also other questions related to the specific position you are seeking.
By practicing answering these questions, you are practicing your speech to your audience. This will get you more comfortable and confident in your abilities.
Have backup material
It is good to bring some samples of work you have done, as a backup. You may not need to show the material, but if there is a question that you can't answer, you might refer to the material. You should also have your resume' handy to refer to, if necessary. Knowing you have this material handy will act as a safety net in case you are worried about forgetting something.
During interview
Once the interview process starts, you should try to relax, listen thoughtfully and get them to like you.
Relax
Before going into the interview, take a deep breath to center yourself and get relaxed. Take your time. If you act anxious and ready to start the process, you will get anxious and nervous.
Listen
You need to be very aware of the people interviewing you and their moods. You need to listen carefully and act is if he or she is the most important person.
Some people being interviewed talk too much, trying to make a big impression. But often the person doing the interview is the one who wants to talk and control the dialog. You need to listen carefully to what the person says and not be overly anxious to impress. Listening will allow you to answer the questions better.
Get them to like you
It is important to get the people involved in the interview to like you. You want to present yourself as a friendly person that they would like to have on their team.
Arrogance or some other negative personality trait may not be appreciated. Certainly, never point out personal opinions or weaknesses you may think you have.
Note that a common question asked in an interview is: "Tell me your weaknesses." You need to prepare to answer that question with a positive remark. An example may be: "One weakness is that I try to do a perfect job. I may even do extra work to make sure the job is excellent."
Summary
You want to be natural in your job interview and not fearful or arrogant. You need to thoroughly prepare for the interview. Then you should present yourself in a positive manner, avoiding the impression of being nervous. Relax, listen thoughtfully and get them to like you. Following these steps will help you do a good job in your interview and will help to overcome any fears you may have.
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